You're so dumb. I like you.

Some say girls daydream about their wedding and boys daydream about winning the World Series. At least, that's what the guy at the bus stop told me.

"Hop inside this box. It's a time machine!" [Credit: Katie Brady]

Crazy old man advice aside, we do like to imagine how things will turn out. Some of us think about our wedding day, whittling down every detail in our heads before we're old enough to drive, all the while forgetting that we need someone else in order to get married and that they may want to have some say in it. Some of us think learning to play the guitar will help us score only to find out that it helps if we're good looking, too. And some of us are nearly brain dead and completely apathetic.

Whatever it is we think we know, we're sometimes wrong. Being wrong, or the fear of it, can lead to some disastrous consequences. Or, it can lead to a learning opportunity and another attempt. We all react to failure differently.

Some of us hide when Dad messes up a stitch in that new quilt of his. [Credit: Lance Neilson]

Failure is ultimately what drives us. We either learn to accept it and move on or learn to fear it and hide. We begin rearranging our lives in our heads to match. We create these scripts for ourselves, and sometimes they're limited. We think we know how things should work. We think we have things figured out. We think we know what's possible and what's not. We think we know the rules of something.

As an example, dating advice. There are always loads of advice out there. When I was younger, one of the bigger trends was this book published by a trio of women that explained all the rules men should follow to get a man to like him.

Some of these rules were fairly basic, such as shower before a date, don't drool on her, and make sure you don't invite your wife and mistress to the same place. Some of the others were a little more obscure, such as, don't call her the next day, but don't wait longer than three days to call back, don't kiss her on the first date, and so on.

Don't devour her father. [Credit: Frankieleon]

We create lists that we think will make us happy. They have to be a certain height, have a certain look, work a certain job, and say (or not say) specific things. Everything has to follow a specific order or it's doomed.

That's what takes the magic out of something wonderful, though. That's what removes the charm from the story people tell when others ask how they met. We get so hung up on everything being a certain way that we feel like it's the only thing that will make us happy. Instead, the biggest problem we have is that we're not in control.

If you were completely and utterly happy with someone, would it matter how you met? Would it matter if their hair was a different color than what you normally went after? Would it matter if, on the first date, the person you liked said to you, "You're so dumb. I like you." Would it matter if on the second date you discovered they didn't know how to use pita bread?

Wait, you mean you're supposed to open it? [Credit: jeffreyw]

All I'm saying is that if you imagine a perfect world where everything is supposed to fit a narrative and you assume something won't work because it doesn't fit that narrative, you could wind up miserable. You could miss out on the one person who changes everything and makes you realize you've never truly been as happy as you are now.

I'm not suggesting you should give up on core values, such as trust, humor, genuineness, and awesome naked time. I'm just suggesting that you stop defining it so concretely. Let life fill in all the little details.

Life is a story, a incredibly short one at that. The problem is some of us spend too much time writing it, and not enough time reading it, or some other writer-like metaphor that fits the current scenario.

Some of us spend too much time dipping or getting dipped into? [Credit: iKobe!]

All I'm saying is that life is going to happen one way or another, so why not stop writing the rules for it and instead let life find you someone that makes you happy? It may defy everything you've thought, every rational decision, every logical process, every bit of sound reasoning.

It may also be the thing that makes your heart sing.

The Hypocrisy of the Hopeless Romantic

Two beers into a Saturday night, I talked to a woman. This wasn't a rare occurrence. Despite the fact I seldom drink, I usually have two. That's the limit, though. Usually I'm driving home and I need a couple of hours to work off all the effects.

What happens if I even sniff the top shelf stuff. [Credit: A Syn]

Here's the thing about me though. I'm typically honest, and I mean that in the way that means I don't know how to socialize with people.When this woman and I started talking to me, she mentioned to me that she considered herself a hopeless romantic.

I know what she meant, but that doesn't mean I agreed with the way most people view it. See, a romantic is someone that pursues things indefinitely. A person that loves love and romance and all that other fun stuff that goes with it isn't a romantic. No, a romantic is someone that pursues love in all its endeavors, that puts forth an effort, that tries to be romantic, too.

Fortunately, I asked her what she meant by that. What I got in return was basically the typical, expected response. 

"I miss men that hold open doors and buy flowers for women and dote on them at least three hours every day." Or something like that.

Pictured here: The only man with enough time to meet her needs. [Credit: Pedro Ribiero Simões]

Don't get me wrong, that type of romance isn't a bad thing. Picnics in the park, walks at night, 2 a.m. visits to the hospital after trying that one move on page 75 in that new book you both picked up with childish grins are all part of the fun. 

The problem is that romantics are people that do those things. As in, they actually try. They put forth an effort. They're out there everyday trying to prove that they love someone.

In other words, a hopeless romantic isn't someone who just sits around hoping to be loved. People who do that are just hopeless.

Wake me when my true love arrives. [Credit: Travis Rigel Lucas Hornung]

She's not the only person I've ever known or met that's like this. Although, I do meet a lot more women like this because of my bias toward dating women. However, men do it, too. It's just that the stereotypical and sexist roles that still run this world lean towards men doing more of the acting than the waiting around.

One of the things I've learned is that it's important to be the type of person that you want to date. So, if you want someone that treats you well, writes little notes to let you know they care, surprises you with sentimental gifts, and understands that you don't want to have sex with socks on — be that person.

Don't be like the woman I talked with on a Saturday night who talked about being a hopeless romantic that felt like she would be sitting around for years or decades until some man of centuries past stepped out from the fog of relics to sweep her away into her dreams.

Only to have him drop the act, bring her back into reality, and expect her to sweep for him. [Credit: José Antonio Morcillo Valenciano]

No, stop moping and actually try doing something about it. Don't call yourself a hopeless romantic unless you've actually spent time trying to woo people. Don't call yourself a hopeless romantic unless you've planned romantic gestures only to have them bomb. Don't call yourself a hopeless romantic if you think that just liking those thoughts makes you that person.

After all, if just thinking about something made you one, there would be a lot of rich people in the world. 

You Should Have Died in Newtown

Unless you're actually doing something, this isn't going to sit well with you or a lot of other people. That's okay because people as a whole hate hearing how they're wrong. Include me in that crowd. This is as much of a wakeup call to myself as it is to everyone else.

It's also going to sound as antiquated as this clock. [Credit: Toshiyuki Imai]

Here's the thing though, you should have died in Newtown. I should have died in Newtown. Everyone should have died in Newtown.

Why? Well, why not? Should the others have lived their last day in that school?

They shouldn't have. No one deserves to die. That's an awful thing to think, isn't it?

Unless of course they're breaking into your house and putting your family at risk. In which case, they deserve to die.

There are two points to the gun control argument right now. On one side, you have people who like their guns and don't want people dead (unless they're threatening others). On the other side you have people who don't like guns and don't want people dead (unless there's a legitimate reason for their death.)

Now, do some math.

Both sides value life. If you cancel that out you're left with those who don't like guns and those who do. And what are they using to fuel their argument?

Dead children and adults.

We all just want people to come to our side, because we're right. [Credit: Josh James]

I'm not implying that you're some soulless demon that wants death and destruction to every thing that can be considered life on this Earth. I'm simply arguing that this issue most likely became important because of the events that occurred.

After all, I'm writing this blog post after the school shooting and not during the dormancy period between two of them.

This is how people get fired up. Think about it. There are and have been people dying for the rights of the U.S. for about as long as it's been around, which should be common sense, really.

Some of those people volunteered for what some might consider just causes. The Revolution. The North side of the Civil War. Maybe even World War I and it's sequel.

This is pretty much the same thing as WWII, right? [Credit: Kevin Dooley]

Why did they do it? Some of them thought it was honor and valor. Some of them were drafted. Some thought it was an easier than going to college. Others just wanted to kill people.

Whether they chose to or not, and whether the reasons they fought were justifiable or not, is a completely different issue. The point is, they died for one thing, to protect the rights of this country.

This is something we're pretty good at reminding people of every year when November 11th comes around. We mention it because we're being reminded.

You should probably buy the washer and dryer to cleanse yourself of materialistic guilt.

Everyone's good at remembering how much they love or hate guns whenever there's a school shooting. Social media sites are full of reminders.

If we had better gun control people wouldn't have died.

Guns don't kill people; people kill people.

There were no school shootings when God was in school.

We're not going to fire ourselves. [Credit: Neon Tommy]

I don't care which side you take. You can be as far left as someone who won't even mention the word gun in a blog post or as far right as someone who writes everything with bullet holes.

The problem is you're not actually doing anything but stating where you stand. You're wasting storage space on the Internet with your tired opinions - opinions that are probably already known by the 17 posts you make everyday spilling your political views through links.

Don't ask me why there's an abnormal amount of sunshine on her hair during a sunset. [Article]

Some might say that I'm doing the same thing. I'm just ranting about how much it bothers me that other people aren't actually doing anything. The thing is, I don't see a problem with our gun control laws right now.

There is going to be another school shooting some day. More people are going to die. There are going to be more arguments over gun laws. Repeat.

This doesn't mean I want people to die. It doesn't mean that I want more violence. It just means that I think there are some things that I can't change at this point.

I'd really like it if there were less Crocs in the world. (Hint: That link hints at what this blog post is about.)

I'm all for poaching these. [Credit: Alex Ward]

Does that make me apathetic? Am I belittling a horrific event by comparing it to an odd fashion trend that's slowly fading out? Or am I making a different point about all of this?

If you think I'm using this tragic event to fight about some personal interest, consider what it is you're doing if you only post comments about your side of the gun control issue.

There's nothing wrong with wanting gun control or not wanting any more of it. If you actually want something, do something about it other than gripe.

A little over 200 years ago there were these people that decided to write a Declaration of Independence despite the fact that there was still a war going on.

They disagreed. They fought. Some traveled hundreds of miles, all without cars and decent roads. Independence Hall in Philadelphia was sweltering that year and modern air conditioning was still about 100 years away.

The signers also had a major case of swamp ass. [Credit: chuckyeager]

All you have to do is sit in a temperature-controlled room and eat Doritos while you click a few buttons and let Google auto-fill your information from you.

Here's one place to support change in gun control laws.

Alternatively, if you don't want more laws, find that cause and support it.

Until then, I'd really wish you'd just shut up. There are people who are accomplishing more proactive things, such as starting Facebook pages to honor those who died and spread random acts of kindness in their loss.

This is my attempt to get some of those causes out there rather than just gripe.

Seriously. Click the freaking link and do something. I'm trying to practice what I preach here.

There are 26 dead people right now that, if alive, might be wishing they could do something else other than posting frivolous arguments to the Internet. Doing things like drawing pictures, or reading stories, or teaching people.

Or driving their parent(s) bat-shit crazy about Santa and Christmas morning. [Credit: Tomasz Krawczak]

Really, they'd probably prefer doing anything instead of being dead.

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