It gets worse. Another verse in the bible states that Jesus will return like a thief in the night. Basically, Jesus is coming when you least expect it and he's taking your HD television.
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| Visual approximation of Jesus on his return. [Credit: Fang Guo] |
This presents a little dilemma for Jesus' second coming, namely in that it seems there's someone predicting the second coming every year. Then there are some who predict that he's coming "soon".
I'm not sure what this means concerning God's two criteria for Jesus' return, but it seems that someone expecting him soon would cancel out Jesus' return during all the years that encompass the word "soon."
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| I'd look sad, too, if I had to live with my dad for an undisclosed amount of time. [Source: Wikimedia Commons] |
Some might say that the 1 Thessalonians reference above doesn't mean that Jesus won't come back if no one is thinking about him, just that he'll drop in when people are the least prepared. It's the same thing as Mom and Dad dropping by when your house is a disaster.
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| Ding dong. |
The scenario works for the second coming because the bible has a few things to say about the world balancing between a catastrophic hell hole and a universally connected bully pulpit for the preaching of the God's word before Jesus drops in.
However, there's a huge problem, maybe even a contradiction, with the bible and Jesus' return and it's God's first stipulation - only he knows the time.
Think about this. The world becoming evermore connected means there are more outlets for predictions of Jesus' arrival. Everyone will have access to it and not only can everyone hear it, but everyone can predict it and publish their prediction.
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| "It's three-fifty per minute, but the Doomsday theories are free." [Credit: Alan Turkus] |
Now, God has a few more rules about when he'll let Jesus out of his gold-plated room in heaven and extend his curfew so he can crash the Earth's sinfest party. One of them is that the gospel must reach every person on earth. So this whole global communications deal is a positive.
There's also the argument that, although people are making asinine predictions of return dates, none of the people really know, therefore Jesus can return during a prediction anyway.
However, I can only imagine the celebratory bragging that will take place at Heaven's gates if someone mistakenly predicts the actual date.
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| Predicting "after Abraham Lincoln's death" is kind of cheating, though. [Credit: angelofsweetbitter] |
Given all of this, if I were to join the lot of many and wager a prediction, it would be that Jesus is never coming back.
For starters, there are still groups of people being discovered, some as recently as 2011. So at least one person lived who never received the opportunity for some Mormons or Christian missionaries to inform them about their heathen lifestyle.
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| "And now that you know you're sinful failure, let us tell you about Mitt Romney." [Credit: Aoife] |
Secondly, there's the whole issue of the anti-Christ and everyone (other than Christians, most likely) coming together under a common leader. That is if you believe the anti-Christ will be one person.
After all, the bible says an anti-Christ is anyone who doesn't believe Jesus is the Messiah.
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| Pictured here: Anti-Christs. [Creidt: AJ] |
Given those two thoughts, we're on our own. Logically speaking, God created a catch-22. If we don't repent we spend eternity in hell. If Jesus never returns, Earth will turn into it.
Of course, all of this assumes God even exists in the first place, and no one knows that for sure. If he doesn't, then that means the bible is man-made. If the bible is man-made, then that means Jesus was made up and that the people are God.
If the people are God, that means we know when Jesus is coming back.
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Which means we don't really know, and Jesus is never coming back.
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